Scissors, Paper, Lightning Fingers

In honour of Death Star PR's 2,000th tweet, Emperor Palpatine has kindly given us permission to print the rules to his favourite game, "Scissors, Paper, Lightning Fingers". The handy instructional graphic and written rules are below.

So enjoy, Galaxy. Play the game at home until it causes heated arguments/bloodshed between you and your otherwise beloved family members.

Here are the rules:

Scissors cuts Paper 

Paper covers Rock 

Rock smashes Saber 

Saber blocks Lightning Fingers 

Lightning Fingers melts Rock

Rock bashes Scissors 

Scissors stabs Lightning Fingers 

Lightning Fingers burns Paper

Paper Order 66's Saber

Saber slices Scissors

Want to play the game everywhere? Of course you do. It's available on a t-shirt here: http://deathstarpr.spreadshirt.com/

Buy Stuff

The Empire is a vast, galaxy-spanning political organisation with untold resources and power.

The Empire's PR team, on the other hand, consists of three people working in a small office without any windows and only a mid-range coffee machine. You read that right, people, we said mid-range. It's like working in a hut in the Dark Ages.

But you can help. How? Take pity on us, as we would under no circumstances take pity on you. Buy our stuff.

http://deathstarpr.spreadshirt.com/

Winners: "Insult A Rebel" Competition

Before we announce the winners of this week's competition, we'd just like to take this opportunity to say that everyone who participated is a winner*, because making fun of Rebel losers is what winners do.

Most devastating insults and the winner of Nerdoh's 'Mos Eisley' t-shirt after the jump.

*But not a winner in the classically literal, some would argue more "actual" sense, because obviously this is a competition run by a ruthlessly evil Galactic Empire, which means we already gave out most of the prize t-shirts to our buddies so we only have one left to give away.

Competition: Take Over the World

Taking over the Galaxy isn't as easy as it sounds.

Anyone can waltz in with a smarmy smile and a ragtag bunch of friends and destroy your latest doomsday device, but actually coming up with the plan? Sourcing contract workers for that Secret Subterranean Volcano Missile Base you need finished by Tuesday? Funding the construction of a moon-sized superlaser? That's the hard stuff.

Unfortunately, we're running out of new ideas. We need your help.

I couldn't be bothered reading that first part. What do I have to do?

In the comments section below, tell us your foolproof plan for world (or Galaxy) domination. The most impressively airtight, original, carefully conceived and downright hilarious will win the prize.

The competition will run for one week. Entries close Friday 12th November 2010 at 7:00am AEDST.
The Winner and Honourable Mentions will be posted some time after that.

Shut up, PR nerd. What's in it for me?

The prestige of being Death Star PR's Inaugural Competition Winner.

What? That's not enough? Fine. The very generous folks at Nerdoh, makers of Premium Movie Inspired Clothing, have been forced at lightsaber point kindly offered to give a 'Mos Eisley Cantina' T-shirt away to one of Death Star PR's loyal fans.

This one, to be exact:

What else do I need to know?

Relax. Have fun with it. This is "just" a "competition", after all. We'd "never" "actually" use your plan for our own "nefarious" ends, we "promise".
You don't need to win to own Nerdoh shirts: http://www.nerdoh.co.uk/index.php

T-Shirt: Carpe Rebellis

Good news, everyone!

The Death Star's PR Team is proud to release our first t-shirt: "Carpe Rebellis".

Buy it. Force everyone you know to buy it. Wear it with pride.

Edit: By order of Darth Vader, "Carpe Rebellis" is now also available in more fitting bad guy black.

White t-shirt.
Black t-shirt.