Winners: "Insult A Rebel" Competition

Before we announce the winners of this week's competition, we'd just like to take this opportunity to say that everyone who participated is a winner*, because making fun of Rebel losers is what winners do.

Most devastating insults and the winner of Nerdoh's 'Mos Eisley' t-shirt after the jump.

*But not a winner in the classically literal, some would argue more "actual" sense, because obviously this is a competition run by a ruthlessly evil Galactic Empire, which means we already gave out most of the prize t-shirts to our buddies so we only have one left to give away.

Competition: Insult A Rebel

The Galactic Empire needs YOU.

Our finest tacticians believe we can wipe the Rebel Alliance out with one final, devestating blow.

We need to hit them where we're reliably informed it hurts the most: the heart. We're not actually sure what that is, but by all accounts it's what the Rebels use instead of a cybernetic blood pump powering a chest respirator. Weird.




To win, give us your best Twitter-style insult for the Rebel scum of your choice in the comments below. Be clever, be evil, be purile - the choice is yours. 140 characters per insult (Rebel's name not included). Maximum FIVE zingers per person, e.g.

@ObiWanKenobi is a creepy old space hobo who lives in a cave, does "magic" tricks and "watches over" young boys. Don't take candy from him!

The single most demoralising insult wins this awesome shirt from Nerdoh:

Entries close 12:00am Wednesday 24th November.

Winner: How I'd Take Over the World

The Death Star PR team has been hard at work this week, organising a cake raffle to raise funding for a new photocopier after the last one mysteriously smashed itself into thousands of pieces with a fire axe, then set itself on fire, then fired its own charred remains into the cold vacuum of space.

Anyway. We've finally found the time to announce the winner of our very first competition: "How would you take over the world?" (and a fantastic 'Mos Eisley Cantina' t-shirt by Nerdoh)

Plans ranged from the disturbingly well-planned to the plain disturbing and seemed to involve a lot more Justin Bieber than we could ever have imagined. Plans we intend to set into operation on countless worlds over the coming months liked the best for our completely harmless and just for fun competition after the jump:

Competition: Take Over the World

Taking over the Galaxy isn't as easy as it sounds.

Anyone can waltz in with a smarmy smile and a ragtag bunch of friends and destroy your latest doomsday device, but actually coming up with the plan? Sourcing contract workers for that Secret Subterranean Volcano Missile Base you need finished by Tuesday? Funding the construction of a moon-sized superlaser? That's the hard stuff.

Unfortunately, we're running out of new ideas. We need your help.

I couldn't be bothered reading that first part. What do I have to do?

In the comments section below, tell us your foolproof plan for world (or Galaxy) domination. The most impressively airtight, original, carefully conceived and downright hilarious will win the prize.

The competition will run for one week. Entries close Friday 12th November 2010 at 7:00am AEDST.
The Winner and Honourable Mentions will be posted some time after that.

Shut up, PR nerd. What's in it for me?

The prestige of being Death Star PR's Inaugural Competition Winner.

What? That's not enough? Fine. The very generous folks at Nerdoh, makers of Premium Movie Inspired Clothing, have been forced at lightsaber point kindly offered to give a 'Mos Eisley Cantina' T-shirt away to one of Death Star PR's loyal fans.

This one, to be exact:

What else do I need to know?

Relax. Have fun with it. This is "just" a "competition", after all. We'd "never" "actually" use your plan for our own "nefarious" ends, we "promise".
You don't need to win to own Nerdoh shirts: http://www.nerdoh.co.uk/index.php