On the Twitter on Sunday we asked a simple, innocent question: "You guys, what's the best way to get blood and memories out of a Giorgio Armani suit?"
Apparently the people of Earth have a lot more experience in blood spatter removal than we would have thought because the replies flooded in.
Below are our ten favourite answers:
10. Google it. (via _Age_)
9. Blowing up a small, defenseless planet. And a little bit of vinegar. (via Luarien)
8. Soak that suit in a baptismal font of baby tears. (via Serveyoursoul)
7. Put the suit on Yoda and throw them both in a blender... Oh wait. Hmm... at least the memories (and your nemesis) will be gone. (via Jb_Paris)
6. White wine SHOULD treat both the blood and the memories. (via Catavich)
5. Plenty of peroxide on the suit (rinse lightly) and plenty of tequila in the system with a roofie... works every time. Suit first. (via Momofed)
4. Mix a little vinegar with the blood and tears of a member of the Rebel Alliance. And remember - dab, don't rub. (via Brock_)
3. Actually I know a place! There's this great dry cleaners on Alderaan, oh wait... (via MarkeeMarker)
2. Throw some wires and LEDs in there and sell it to jawas. (via the boss, helpful as always - Lord Palpatine)
1. PLUNGERS. They usually leave the SUBJECT as a dry HUSK. But memories are extracted EASILY. YOU should get a PLUNGER ASWELL. PLUNGERS also aid in declogging HUMAN TOILETS. (via DalekPR)
On the day of Twitter's rollout of its new design, details of which can (kind of) be found here: http://twitter.com/newtwitter, the Death Star PR team put its minds to brainstorming a few ways to improve the tweeting experience:
- "Best of" List - allow users to select a small number of tweets that best represent them (5? 10? 20?) and what their account is about. This would give other users the opportunity to decide very quickly if they think someone is worth following.
- Conversation Stitch - allow users to "stitch" two or more timelines together so they can see a conversation in its entirety without having to flick between pages.
- @Message Removal - give users a button that allows them to switch between viewing another person's page with or without messages directed to other users if they choose, thus making it easier to get past the personal chatter and on to the messages meant for general consumption.
- Faster Scrolling - it would be fantastic if more messages could be viewed per page or scrolling down someone's page could be made speedier. The long wait between screen loads when you're going through past messages can be painful.
- Embed a subliminal message that makes Justin Bieber, Twilight and Paris Hilton fans kill themselves. Okay fine, just the Bieber fans. Failing that, at least ban them all. Failing that... well, let's just say we don't need much of a reason to fire up the Death Star's main laser.
Oh, and Twitter? Next time you do an ad for your product, please: less supremely cool hipster lifestyle documentary, more actual content information.
So that's it. What do you think? Let us know in the comments below.
