Talking Turkey

 

Happy Thanksgiving to all of our American future targets friends from all of us here at Death Star PR.

Remember, there's only one rule on Turkey Day:

Don't stop eating until all of the turkeys are dead, lest they stage a turkey uprising and take their bloody turkey revenge on their voracious human overlords. 

We believe on your world it's customary to give thanks and after looking up the word, we can dishonestly say we're thankful for:

• Being alive. When your bosses are Darth Vader and Emperor Palpatine and you're just a humble, completely replaceable PR lackey, every extra day is a gift.
• Being loved. It's an indescribable feeling to know that you're loved by every single being in the Galaxy. Well, loved/feared/reviled.
• Science. Without science we wouldn't have Death Stars to blow up evil planets, television to subliminally manipulate and rot the brains of entertain and inform the masses, or Apple, who gave us a great deal on iPhones.
• Magic. Without magic, we wouldn't have be able to Force choke people with the power of our minds. Which is funny, and a useful way to end boring conversations.
• Stupid people. To laugh at. And the internet, for constantly bringing those people to our attention.

What are you thankful to the Galactic Empire for? Tell  us in the comments below.