The Galactic Empire had just about written off Earth as being worth sparing, but the actions of one small child suggest that perhaps there is some hope for you yet.
On a trip to the Jedi Academy at Disneyland, Sarah Gallego made the wisest decision of her life. The rest is history.
From all of us here on the Death Star, welcome to the Dark Side, Sarah. You can now enjoy our delicious cookies, Cyborg Limb Replacement Policy, and the ability to shoot lightning at your brother Alex if he bugs you.
Thanks to literally everyone on the internet for the tip, but especially ClawX for being first.